How Crafting Became My Therapy

Vivienne and her mum Hazel - happy days

Hazel Glow is really all about the incomparable and never ending love between Mother and Daughter.  From as early as I can remember, my mother Hazel taught me to craft - to knit, to sew, to make paper flowers, to make cards, to paint on glass.  We tried our hands at so many things - sitting side by side just happily making things together.  She was such a wonderful woman and we had so many adventures together, whether it be going on quiz shows or just to town shopping (we were always shopping).  All I can remember of being with her is an overwhelming feeling of love, laughter, joy - that all was well with the world. 

Even when I got married and had my own family, we were as close as we ever were and continued to see each other almost daily and talk many times a day on the phone.  I was always worried about her, especially as she got older and more frail.  Many times when I couldn't get her on the phone, I would speed round to her little bungalow to make sure she was ok.  Needless to say she was probably in the garden with her beloved flowers, or engrossed watching Coronation Street! Despite her many health issues and a lifetime of being in pain with arthritis, she always had the widest most beautiful smile on her face and brought joy to everyone she met.  People really did just love her.  The last 5 years of her life, started off with a mild heart attack and then many, many infections which always gave the appearance of her having Alzheimer's or dementia (if you have had a family member suffer with these you will recognise what I am talking about).  But the beginning of the end was when she fell in her bathroom and broke her hip.  I became her carer along with some wonderful care workers at the sheltered accommodation she lived in.  Slowly, over those few years she succumbed to the infections and became more and more bed bound, eventually being diagnosed with vascular dementia.  Then came covid - I was lucky as her designated carer to see her several times a day, wiping all the touch points down obsessively with dettol to make sure she didn't catch it.  I managed to protect her from covid, but with old age and her frailty she finally passed away on 16th January 2021.  We used to tell each other all the time that we loved each other, and one of the last things she said to me was "I love you so very much Vivienne, I really do".  Then what do you do, when the other half of you has gone?  I feel so much for everyone who has ever lost someone they love, because I feel their pain.  And how do we survive amidst the grief?  For me, it came a few months after she passed, I had such an irresistible urge to start creating again - just something I absolutely had to do.  I started with greetings cards as it was the easiest for me, and the feeling of peace that came over me was palpable... I knew that she was by my side again and this was my way forward, to lose myself in the creative process.  Why did I start making candles and skincare?  I suppose I've always liked to learn new things and because my mother adored perfumes - she would to use one of her many phrases "Be like a pig in muck" lol with all the beautiful fragrances I get to use every day.

Now, I am a grandma myself - I find joy in my little granddaughter, my two children and my wonderful husband - and in my happy place "Grandma's Craft Room" where all the magic of creation takes place.  This is for you mum, because you truly did bring a glow to life and to everyone who knew you.

Thank you for reading, I hope this story brings you inspiration and comfort that there is a way to feel peace through the creative process.